Well, you say he used to like you, but if he’s currently got a girlfriend, and you have a bf, he’s not about to admit to still liking you. My advice would be to wait, and stay friends. If it turns into something more, maybe have a talk with him. If you both discover you’re in love, then maybe break off your relationships. But I wouldn’t jump the gun and break your bf’s heart, only to be rejected by your friend because he’s not ready.
On the other hand, it’s not really fair for your current boyfriend if you’re in love with another guy. You need to consider, if you didn’t love this other guy, would your current bf be the one? I don’t know how many ex’s you have, but i’ve learned that you don’t really get a good perspective on how good a relationship was until long after you break up.
Say you break up with your current bf, and you don’t end up with your other friend. will you look back in a year and think about how great it was with your bf? Because good relationships can be hard to find. It’s hard to find the person that fits you perfectly. But if he’s still not right, then maybe you would be doing him a favor by breaking up with him. Not to be with this other guy, but because you know he’s not the one, and if you stay with him, you’re wasting both of your time.
Good luck! Hope things turn out well!
Haha I haven’t been answering things for awhile, but it sounds like you really want some advice. :) I know this feeling. It’s fun and exciting and i’m sure it will be awkward no matter what. But it’s ok, because that awkwardness usually goes away once you both get into the mood. I’d say start slow, give him a big hug and smile when you see him. Invite him in, and maybe sit down and catch up some, then maybe watch a movie or something. Altho don’t watch anything too good. Watch something old, maybe funny, that you’ve both seen. The movie will keep your attention from the awkwardness of what you’re both thinking about. If he doesn’t make a move in the first 5-10 minutes, then it’ll be up to you. Start by resting your hand on his leg. This will IMMEDIATELY get his attention, no matter how subtle it is.
Hopefully he’ll respond by rubbing your hand, or your leg in return. If he’s still too shy, very softly run your fingers back and forth, over an inch or two. If he’s STILL not doing anything, he’s either scared stiff (hopefully literally) ;) or he’s not that bright.
Really you can do whatever you want. But if it’s your first time, going slow is usually the best bet. Unless there’s a huge amount of sexual tension, the quicker you try to have sex, the more awkward it will feel. Just enjoy the experience, have fun, and let me know how it goes! Haha, jk. ;) Maybe.
Also, keep in mind, if you watch a movie, pick something before hand that won’t be too distracting to have sex to. To this day, I still remember what was on TV when I had sex for the first time with a few different people. One was the movie Scream, another was Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, and another was Old School. Personally, I think the last one was the best choice of the three. :D
P.S. I don’t really answer things publicly anymore, sorry, but if you really want an answer, don’t ask anonymously. Don’t worry, I won’t post it, i’ll just respond directly. :)
I’m sorry! ::hugs:: That’s too bad. It hurts to be broken up with.. I have been a few times and it makes you feel worthless. But you’re not! It sounds like he wasn’t lying when he said he still likes you, he probably just doesn’t want to be in a serious relationship.
Just because he said he still likes you, doesn’t mean that you guys should get back together. It sounds like this breakup was for the best. If you were falling for him, and he’s feeling wishy washy, it’s best not to keep pursuing.
If I were you, I wouldn’t expect things to stay the same at all. You should steel yourself for forgetting about him. From the sound of things, you’re both young. And honestly, i’m sure you’ll have lots of relationships before you find the man that will become your husband.
So see this as a learning experience. Think about things that you liked about him, but also think about all the things you didn’t like about him. And be honest with yourself. Because as you meet more guys, you’ll notice those same things you liked or disliked in other men.
It’s important to be able to recognize these things in a guy. If you see him acting in ways that you didn’t like in past relationships, then right away, that is an indicator that you won’t be happy with him. Try to look past physical traits. Just because a guy is cute, doesn’t mean you’re going to be happy with them.
My advice to you.. Do everything you can to start seeing him as a “friend.” This won’t be easy at first, and you may have to fake it. For example, if you pass by him in a hallway at school, don’t smile and wave or do whatever you used to. Just give him a slight nod of the head to acknowledge him like any other acquaintance, and go back to talking or doing whatever you were doing. If you’re talking to him with a group of people, don’t give him any more attention than anyone else in the group.
As you do this, two things will happen. 1, you’ll ACTUALLY start to forget about him. And 2, he’ll probably realize how much he misses the attention you used to give him, and want you back. Now this part is important.. If he DOES decide to ask you out again, think long and hard about whether you even want him back. Remember, he dumped you because of his own shortcomings. Do you really want his indecisive ass back? No, you shouldn’t. So if he does ask you out again, turning him down will not only give you a tremendous ego boost, but it’ll make you better than him. He’ll be the one pining after you, and honestly, it’ll make you even more desirable in everyone else’s eyes.
I’m sorry for my ramblings.. I guess what i’m trying to say is, as much as this feels like the end of the world, you’ll meet many more guys in your lifetime, and i’m sure a good number of them you’ll like more than this kid who you just broke up with.
So chin up! You’re a strong, independent woman, and you don’t need some man to validate you. :)
Haha he probably felt some sort of electric spark that ran through his whole body and made him freeze for a second. I’m sure he loved it.
Hmmm well. Guys are VERY perceptive to touch. If you just rest your hand on his arm or leg ONCE, it’ll put it in his head for the next hour. :-P
If he’s already into you, it probably won’t take much. Maybe the next time you hug him, hold him for an extra second or two. Make eye contact with him a few times a day, and when he makes it back, instead of looking away, hold it for a few seconds and give him a smile. :)
If you’re in a moment where you think you guys MIGHT possibly kiss for the first time, he’ll probably want to make the first move, but you can help A LOT by staying close to him, keep eye contact, keep holding him, and if he starts to move in for the kiss, move in slightly with him. It’ll give him confidence to keep going. ;)
I’m glad you told me this. Haha it warms my heart thinking of two best friends finally getting together. it’s cute. :D
Hmmmm that’s tough. I’d say that all you can really do is hope she starts to get used to regularly having sex, and begins to want it on her own. Maybe try not initiating it as often, or instead try subtly touching some of her sensitive spots, (neck, behind her knee, her thighs) Then move on and act like you’re not trying to have sex. See if you can turn her on enough so that SHE suggests it, and maybe starts going after you. Maybe offer her a massage, make it really good and hot.. then after kiss her and just lay next to her, instead of turning the massage into foreplay, which is what I would normally do. If you turned her on enough she should initiate it herself. Especially if you have taken off most of her clothes during the massage. :-P
But if she legit has a lower sex drive.. then there’s not much you can do besides keep having sex.. I had a gf like that in college. We dated for 3 years and after the first year we were having sex at least twice a day. I’m not saying it will take an ENTIRE year. But no worries, it’ll happen. Couples usually start to match each other’s sex drive slowly over time.
Haha I mean it’s normal.. But you gotta know that nothing will ever come of it. No matter how young he is, he could get in maaajor trouble. It’s unethical on multiple levels.
Of course! Haha that’s what boyfriends are for! Awkwardly pawing at you until you’ll sleep with them. ;)
Well then it sounds like you would enjoy sex with a girl! And if you like the rough treatment, then i’m sure any girl you ask will dominate you. But you have to let them know that you’re into that sorta thing. Otherwise how else would they know? :)
That’s understandable. Alot of people are just curious. Can you imagine yourself eating someone else’s pussy? Not that it’s REQUIRED if you’re going to sleep with a girl.. But if the idea turns you off, then chances are you’re not anything more than just curious. :)